spring has spung

I live just outside of Atlanta, but like most people here, I didn't grow up here. I'm from the northeast.  A place with real seasons. When it's winter you know it's winter. very cold very dreary, no sun. When it's fall you know it's fall, the changing of the leaves are amazing.  Summer, you can actually leave the house without a coat, or thinking about if you need a coat, and spring, well spring is like a burlesque dancer, teasing you with a little sunshine, before it takes and back and sends snow again.

Georgia, not so much.  here we have mist, pollen, hot, supper hot and fall.   but there is this window of time (hot on the previous list) where the weather is wonderful, the pollen has gone so you can breathe, and the mosquitos  aren't so bad that you can leave the house without coating yourself in bug spray, or calamine lotion when you get home.  that month is may.  I would love may in Georgia if the kids weren't so drat busy.  when it comes time to wrap up the end of the kidss school year and every group organization tries to have a gathering.  (think Christmas parties, but with bbq instead of egg nog.)

so May in georgia is chaos, not to mention my daughter's birthday in the mix, and college reunion activities (which i missed again). 

well usually i celebrate the end of the chaos with a few weeks out of town to visit my parents.  in past years i've taken a few weeks, packed up the kids and gone out of town.  while i still have the responsibility  of making sure my kids eat everyday, it's a vacation of sorts because I have my parents to spoil me.
well since i started working 6 months ago, I don't have 3 weeks to pack up and leave town.  but my parents have graciously offered to take the kids for a similar period of time.

so here is my plan.  I fully intend to use these weeks to spend some serious time with my rope, and to spend some time cultivating the secondary relationship i've been invoved with for the last few months. I can't say that i will be posting anymore frequently than i have been for the last month or so, but know that i will be living life to the fullest. 
here's to good times, no pollen  and lots of sex

I haven't gotten very far with my rope lately, well I haven't gotten very far with this blog either. I guess for right now the two sort of go together, since it is a blog about rope.  Well until I get back to the rope I will share a little story.

My husband travels for work from time to time.  At the time of this story he had to be in Ohio for two weeks.  Thankfully he was able to come home for the weekend in between, but him being here for two days, i didn't want to get too comfortable with him being here, because I knew he was just turning around and going away again Monday morning.  The second weekend when he was going to be home for a while I was pretty excited. So I stopped by Fredrick's of Hollywood and picked up a corset. I like corsets.  this one has a full row of hooks and eyes up the front and laces up the back.  Putting it on is foreplay in itself.  getting it tied by myself makes me channel my inner contortionist, and getting someone else to tie it, well that's fun too, I once had a friend put her foot in my back and pull it Scarlet O'Hara style.  that was a turn on, but I digress. 

Shortly after i bought the corset I was at walmart getting the usual mundane stuff that one gets at walmart when I happened upon a scarf that matched the corset. It was a long skinny scarf, about two inches wide, and 3-4 feet long. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it, but i brought it home with me.  hell it was walmart, i couldn't have spent more than $9.99 on it.  well actually I went home with two lol

The scarves have become my go to ties. One happened to be out the other night, and my husband took it upon himself to tie my hands behind my back. I wasn't so much surprised that he tied me, as I was that he wouldn't untie me when i asked ( I was starting to get a crook in my neck.)  

I've been tied before, but usually under my terms. It's something I ask for, request, and can usually wiggle out of, untie myself. yeah not that night. I wasn't in control. lets see where this goes.

I've been thinking a lot about submission over the last couple of days.  In fleeting moments while brushing my teeth, or sitting at a red light, I ponder what it means to me.
For me the rope isn't about sex. It's about art.  But it's more about trust. It takes a special relationship with someone to be able to walk up to them and say "Hey I want you to tie me up" well at least for me it does.  I've always had control issues.  Maybe it comes from being the baby of the family, the youngest of my parents kids and the youngest of my grandmother's grandchildren. People were always telling me what to do.  It made me very head strong. 

But as fascinated as I am about the rope, we still haven't gotten around to actually tying each other.  I guess I'm not ready to submit (be tied) and he's not ready to submit (partake in an activity that he isn't all that interested in). 

So how do we make that leap?  I haven't figured it out yet.  Do I take the aggressive route?

I started this blog at the end of last month, I still haven't figured out what what submission means.  I guess that is why life is a journey. 

I'm sure one of the first thing that most people do when they start a blog is to give their friends and family the link so they can follow along.

not me

It's not that there aren't plenty of people out there who don't know that my life is far from vanilla.  It would be easy to start a blog, invite my swirl friends and talk about my interest in rope and fetish in general.

But that isn't the case here.
1) because i don't mind blogging to myself.  It's more important to get the words out, than it is for anyone to read them
2) because about this time last year my non vanilla life came to a fork in the road.  I was really ready to take a vanilla path.

I still don't know who the audience is for this blog, so I will spare everyone the gory details.  But I will say this, that decision not to take the vanilla path has lead me to an unexpected less vanilla path than the one I was on.  As fun as this path is, it's exciting in a way that riding a roller coaster blindfolded is.

On a roller coaster, you know there are certain rules, you know that hundreds, maybe thousands of people have ridden that ride, gotten off and gone on with their lives, it's perfectly safe, but it still scares the crap out of you. 

So if you wonder why I speak in generalities, it is because I know I am on a path, I don't know where I am going.  I

babydolls and apple pie

I haven't posted anything in a while, I guess I've been too busy living life to blog it properly.  I haven't even gotten a chance to play with my rope.  I guess I will get back to that this week.  Here are some snip-its of the last couple of weeks. 

A friend of mine hosted a golf outing for a bunch of friends. I didn't golf, but I did meet the group for lunch.  I wore a cute little pair of shorts (I never show my legs) and a halter top.  I intentionally tied my halter top with the coin knot I used as the picture in an earlier blog.  Hubby was at first excited that I left the house with so little clothes on, then intrigued by my choice of knot.  I don't think anyone else noticed to knot, my hair covered it.  But there is nothing like knowing that as a couple you share a secret that the other 15 people at the table don't know. 

My kids were at their grandparents house for spring break. It gave my husband and I some time to do things that we don't usually get to do when they are underfoot.  I think the highlight would be have to be the evenings we spent half naked and eating complete junk for dinner. one of them I went as far as to make fried apple pies, wearing nothing but a babydoll. 

See hubby and I's relationship has never been traditional. Everyone always says that you should be friends before you become intimate. but to be perfectly honest with you we were fuck buddies.  and 17 years latter we are still together.

okay, let me log off and work on another knot.

So Why Rope?

I think this is a blog that I will continuously revisit along my journey.
I would say first of all I have a thing for fetish.  I realized it about 6 years ago.  We had a subscription to Playboy TV, and they had a show called "sexcetera".  To me it was like an overly sexual 60 minutes.  An hour long show with 4-5 segments about different sexual topics.  They my visit a strip club in a random city, and compare and contrast the clubs in different cities, then the next segment would be an artist who sculpts nudes.  Followed up by midget porn.  But what I took from it every week was a window of what other people are into.  I found that I really like to see what turns other people on. 
So a few years back I was browsing the web, and found a local rope class.  It was for "kissing couples" as they called it.  Unfortunately my husband had a prior engagement that particular Saturday, and I wasn't able to attend. It's one of those things that I've always sorta looked back on  like, "man I wish I had done that"

the next thing is that rope is cheap.  I could be into leather, or latex, but that would be have a higher startup cost.  And more research to the proper store to start shopping.  But with rope, all I had to do was head down to the local hardware store.  (yeah it's interesting to know that my use for my rope is very different than the next persons)

I also love the art of it all.  When I look at pictures I'm equally intrigued by the beauty of the models, and the intricacy of the knots.  Yeah this is a topic I will come back to.

The DSL used to be so fast....

As  a birthday gift to myself, I turned off the DirecTv at my house.  Okay let be back up, there are two facts that link me turning it off and my birthday.  The first is that my husband is a huge football fan. If there is a game that he can watch, he will watch it. I don't care if it's 6 year olds at the local park, Australian rules, or his beloved home town NFL team, he has to watch football in the fall. 
So when I brought up the idea of no longer paying for television the first question he asked me was "what are we going to do about football?" So I agreed, we would keep paying for TV until after the Super Bowl.  My Birthday happens to be in early February. perfect timing.

So we have been a little more than a month with rabbit ears on our TV.  So far so good. The kids are spending more time outside, we have even had family joke night where we start telling random jokes to each other.

But here is the kicker.  One thing that I thought would happen when I stopped paying for TV was that I would spend more time streaming shows and movies we like from sources like Netflix or network websites.  but what I'm finding is that our DSL connection just doesn't have the bandwith to support steaming shows. I notice that the problem is worse in the evenings than it is during the day. 

So tonight I was going to stream a TV show before bed, and I can't even get netflix to load all the way on our wii.  Now i now that our PS3 does a better job than the wii does, but it's not in the room I'm in, and I'm not willing to go get it.

Sad huh?  So I guess I'll practice my knots.  Tomorrow I'll post some pictures of what I've been working on. 

I didn't write yesterday, I was cuddled up with my husband watching Kill Bill Volume 2.  There is something about women kicking each other's asses that is empowering.  Not a pulling each other's hair cat fight but a serious fight to the death I hate you kind of fight.  Another thing that's cool about it is that they aren't fighting over a man.  yeah there is a man involved, and for the most part it is ts the story of a scorned woman, but she is a hell of a scorned woman.  Left for dead by her former coworkers, yeah I'd be pissed to if I woke up from a coma looking for my unborn child, yeah I'd go on a rampage as well, and I'm not a trained killer. 
But I digress, some might sit here and wonder why i am talking abotu a bloody movie (bloody as in the liquid stuff, not the british saying) But to me Kill Bill speaks to girl power.  Women express their power in a different way from men.  Stereotypically there is sex involved in some way or another. But when it comes to bondage, a woman is usually on the receiving end.  usually the one being tied. When I started down this path, I figured I wanted to be the one tied.   But as I learn and practice my knots, I think I will be the one doing the tying.  or it will be give and take.  I'm not sure. 

So i'll ask myself over the next few weeks:  Is submission the giving of power? or gaining it?

So why a blog?
I know 5 years ago the big thing was to have a new experience and blog about it. So I guess I'm a little late.
Another factor was that then I had a pretty cool friends list on yahoo 360 with whom I could share random sexual thoughts.  Now the world seems to have moved onto facebook and you connect with everyone; your mom, your second grade teacher and the neighbor two blocks down the street. Oh, don't forget about your kids soccer coach.  So there are just some things I can't talk about on facebook. S&M is one of them.  Sometimes it's just easier to say things in front of strangers.
So here I am in 2012 starting a blog.

It's only day two but it's time for an update.  I think I have that double coin knot down. I had a piece of rope with me today, and I could tie that know in my hoodie pocket.  I guess that is a step in the right direction.  But I started working on a celtic knot last night, and that one is giving me so trouble. I can do it with the directions, but I don't have it memorized yet.  I guess I won't pick up every knot quickly.  If I did it wouldn't be an adventure.  So maybe the next time I will post that knot.

One last thing for today.  My husband asked me why I was practicing the knots so diligently.  I think he is a little worried that I might just tie him up. Who knows, I just might

Getting started

I'm not sure if anyone will find this, I guess that is how a lot of blogs start out. 

So here is where I am today.  Somehow over the last few months I've developed a fascination with rope. so after browsing a few websites and shopping around on amazon I picked up a "Two Knotty Boys" book.
So for the next few weeks, I will be learning a new knot every couple of days until I have a few mastered. This week's knot is the coin knot.   I'm trying to get it mastered so that I can tie it without having to think about it.

So here is my first effort.  
it's just my practice rope.  A two foot long piece of nylon I can keep in my pocket and pull out without attracting too much attention. 

As I continue on my journey I'll share my ups and downs, my frustrations and my excitement. I'll also share little bits about my background, my life and how I got here.

I think this is enough for today.  Just a little bit to get me started.